When Nick and I were planning our wedding, one of the pieces of advice my mom gave me was to make the ceremony about us. Often, the personality of the bride and groom gets lost if they choose to do a more traditional ceremony. Since we are a bit more traditional, this was a challenge for us. One way to infuse a little bit of your personality is through a unity ceremony.
Of course, there are the typical unity sand or unity candle ceremonies, but it took us quite a while to find something more unique that we both liked. Here are some options:
One option is a twist on the traditional sand ceremony. Instead of putting the sand in a vase, combine it into a less traditional vessel, like an hourglass for example. This is also something that is more practical to have after the wedding. If you do it right, you could use it as an actual timer. Displayed in a house, it can also serve as a conversation starter and a way to reminisce about your beautiful day. The set shown to the left is from JustHourGlasses.com and has many options to fit any decor.
You can also explore different sand containers such as a shadow box with special items in it, or even a deep picture frame. I really like bringing practicality into the symbolism of the joining of the sand.
Another option is any number of rope ceremonies. One that I like is shown to the right. You can find it on Etsy. The idea here is to braid the three strands to symbolize the bride, groom, and God.
Other ideas include tying a fisherman’s knot (this would be cool for a nautical themed wedding) which only becomes stronger the harder it is pulled apart.
Variations include starting by tying one knot at the ceremony and then again every year to remind the couple that with every hardship they face, they become stronger, just like the rope. You can also involve family and have the bride and groom start the knot and then have different family members or friends tie knots during the ceremony to symbolize the support they will have in securing the bond.
Another alternative is the unity box which has a few standard application, but you can modify the idea to fit anything really. You start with a wooden box, fill it with a bottle of wine, love letters, letters from parents, or a combination of these items to be nailed shut at the ceremony and opened on your first anniversary.
What is cool about this idea is that you can really put whatever you want in the box. It is meant to be sort of a time capsule and can hold whatever is important to you. The box shown to the left is built for wine and can be found at Etsy.
Unity in Glass is my personal favorite and what we ended up using at our ceremony. It is a bit on the pricey side compared to these other options, but as soon as we saw it, both Nick and I knew it was going to be special for us. We were lucky and my three amazing bridesmaids bought this for us as a wedding gift. This is similar to the sand ceremony but uses colored bits of glass. After the ceremony, you send the combined pieces back and they make a blown glass sculpture out of it. You can also choose from a variety of additional pieces to add on using the same batch of glass you combined with your sweetie. They have plenty of color options and the vendor will even suggest what colors will go well together or what you need to add to make the colors pop. Unity in Glass is amazing and I could not be happier with our finished sculpture. They even sent the remaining pieces back in case we want to order additional pieces later. Check out your options at UnityInGlass.com. They even have suggested wording for this portion of the ceremony on their website for you to use.
Even less traditional ideas include:
- A unity painting where the couple pours their respective paint colors over a canvas during the ceremony to be displayed in the home after the wedding. Personally this seems a bit risky in a white wedding dress, but the finished product can be cool.
- Combining wines in a decanter (you can also use this for the wedding party during the toast at the reception) or combining other alcohol for a unity cocktail (which can also be recreated and served at the reception).
- Combining soil from both parents homes into a vase with a plant or sapling to be planted at the new couple’s home after the wedding.
- I have even seen chemical reactions in beakers or vases to symbolize two combining to become one, never to be separated again. (The most common example is baking soda and vinegar dressed up by adding food coloring to the vinegar.)
One important thing to remember is that if you are having an outdoor ceremony, keep the elements in mind. For example, the chances of getting a unity candle to stay lit may be minimal depending on the weather.
There are countless ways to symbolize unity, these are just a few, but whatever you decide, make sure it fits you and your new spouse. The more unique the ceremony, the more precious the memories.
Dearly Beloved... 